She studied herself once more and wondered if perhaps she should have worn one of her longer skirts. She sighed, too late to change now. x-x-x-x Simon shook his head as he went to the door. Connie Davetsky was his roommate and his best friend, and he wanted it to be more. However, he chickened out every time he intended to tell her that, and instead, here he was going to let in her latest date. Simon hoped he was nicer than the last guy. It wasn’t that Connie had bad taste in men, he thought, it was just that she somehow seemed to find the ones who offered a bait-and-switch. ‘Hi, I’m here for Connie,’ said the man at the door. He held out his hand. ‘Ron Cutter.’ Simon shook his hand. ‘Simon Banks,’ he said. ‘Come on in.’ Simon sized Ron up as he walked into the apartment and wasn’t impressed. Everything about him put Simon off, from the possible start of a beer gut to the thin brown hair that needed a trim. Simon would admit that he was not in peak physical shape–it was too easy to. .. , you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus."The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?" You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar."Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care of that problem."The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!" Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."As.
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